disconcerting inwardly, it can be strenuous on a relationship. Though all healthy relationships grow and change as the individuals do, the more subtle and profound spiritual transformations we experience can leave us feeling indefinable and, therefore, incapable of upholding our previous roles in our ongoing relationships. Our expectations begin to shift as well, even though we may not be able to articulate our new perspectives to those we endear. Instead, we end up feeling lost and wondering how to relate in ways we barely understand – ways that honor who we are while keeping our loyalty and love intact. Imagine telling your husband, “Honey, I love you dearly, but I need my space to do some deep inner searching. It may take me a year or two, and my intention is to continue to love you, but we’ll see what happens when I emerge. I’ll be sleeping in the room down the hall until then.” Ha! Can you imagine how well that would go over!? Yet, it may be the most honest and important sentence you utter to him as you discover your true self. During this discovery period of “Who am I really?” we may realize that we have always identified ourselves in regards to each of our relationships – daughter or son, sister or brother, friend, companion, beloved, wife or husband, parent, grandparent and so on. What often happens after the dissolution of an important relationship is we redefine who we are. Yet, who we truly are has nothing to do with our relationships. Our true essence experiences our relationships as an exchange of energy and an opportunity to discover “other” and “self” and how the two seemingly separate beings relate. Our essence has no need to have our relationships define us. Our ego, on the other hand, uses relationships as the foundation of its structure. Omtimes.com Thus as we embark, consciously or not, on the journey to our essential self-one of the most intense shifts we encounter happens in our relationships. At some point, the Universe seems to bring us face-to-face with our beliefs about our identity as reflected in our cherished relationships – not to mention how we behave in them. For example, do you consider yourself a “good partner?” Those two words alone create such strong parameters which are fashioned from our beliefs; beliefs about what each word means individually, as well as when coupled together. Moreover, they are infused with all the stories associated with “good partner” from generations past. If you believe you are a good partner, or want to uphold that commitment, then anything you do that is outside of that structure of beliefs has the potential to shake the foundation of your identity as well as the relationship you want to be a “good partner” in. Once shaken, we begin to question ourselves, our worth, our relationships and fear can set in. From fear the ego goes to fight or flight, right? Arguments erupt, blame flies, hurt happens, and retreats to safety become inevitable. But from what are we really seeking safety? Ironically, as we desperately desire love in each of our relationships, the tenderness its purity offers our hearts can be too intense for our fragile egoic selves. In our efforts to feel safe, we retreat from the love we crave. Yet in our collective awakening, it is true love we are revealing and so begins a deliberate dissolving of the protective ego – a releasing of all the identities of who we thought we were that keep us from experiencing it. So is it possible to release these identities and keep our beloved relationships? Absolutely. Millions of people on the planet are October 2014 D Editi on